yadre

Lawmakers: “Hey, we noticed this really unfortunate trend where people are being shot and killed with illegally acquired guns. The thing is, the way these guns are being illegally acquired is that they’re being sold legally to someone who then resells them illegally. When the police try to crack down on this, the illegal reseller just claims those guns were ‘stolen.’ This is actually a really simple fix, we just have to make it mandatory for stolen guns to be reported in a prompt manner.”

The National Rifle Association: “WHAT??? TYRANNY!!! YOU ARE TRAMPLING ON OUR SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHTS!!! THIS IS SIMPLY UNAMERICAN!!! YOU FASCISTS!!! DO YOU KNOW WHO ELSE TOOK HIS CITIZENS’ GUNS AWAY??? HITLER!!!”

Lawmakers: “But… we’re not talking about taking anyone‘s guns away, we’re talking about making it harder for criminals to–”

The N.R.A.: “HITLER!!!”

Lawmakers: "People are dying..."

The N.R.A.: "HITLER!!! 9/11!!! HITLER!!!"

Lawmakers: “Okay… fine… forget we said anything…”

A cat that WILL NOT BITE YOU UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. And who isn't aloof at all. (Instead, he's all, PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEE!!!, but totally chill about it because... duh. cat.) He's pretty much my favorite cat ever. I've known some pretty sweet-tempered cats before, but this one definitely takes the cake... and then offers you some, because he knows you like cake.

People think the "I am no man" scene in Return of the King is "creative"? It's been done to death. Including in Shakespeare.

It isn't awesome because it's "creative" or "original." IT'S AWESOME BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME.

If I ever meet someone named "Rick," I am RUNNING AWAY AS FAST AS I CAN.

Dear everyone calling Will Smith homophobic,

He came out in support of same-sex marriage just a few days ago. Not being okay with being kissed on the mouth by a stranger is not homophobia.

That is all.

Regular Season Standings
Eastern Conference
1) Chicago Sky
2) Connecticut Sun
3) Indiana Fever
4) Atlanta Dream
5) Washington Mystics
6) New York Liberty

Eastern Conference
1) Minnesota Lynx
2) Los Angeles Sparks
3) Seattle Storm
4) San Antonio Silver Stars
5) Phoenix Mercury
6) Tulsa Shock

Awards
MVP: Sylvia Fowles, Chicago
DPOY: Sylvia Fowles, Chicago
RotY: Nneka Ogwumike. Los Angeles
MIP: Maya Moore, Minnesota

Playoffs
Chicago over Atlanta
Connecticut over Indiana
Minnesota over San Antonio
Los Angeles over Seattle

Chicago over Connecticut
Minnesota over Los Angeles

Minnesota over Chicago

One is about a supermarket getting held up and getting hit by a freak tsunami, trapping everyone inside with a great white shark. The other is about Kristen Stewart playing a transgender sexual assault survivor, and among the many things it depicts is someone "stag[ing] her own rape for money." GUESS WHICH ONE IS WHICH.

My roommate and I have started watching Avatar: The Last Airbender. We're like five or six episodes in. I'm loving it so far!

That is all.

Okay. I’m going to start this one with a challenge: read this completely, 100% factually accurate description of what happened in the last two months of the 2012 Major League Baseball season, and tell me you couldn’t (if you really had to) make it into one of the greatest sports films of all time.

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In the category of "things that confuse the hell out of me," it has recently come to my attention that some people consider my film and literature reviews (you can't possibly make this up) "mean."

As an English major, I was trained to read a text (which includes films) analytically. I then use this reading to construct arguments, both interpretive and evaluative. (If this sounds fairly unremarkable to you, congratulations! You know how a review works.) Does that mean I think I'm right?

... yes. It does.

I was surprised to learn that this is controversial. I don't really know what to say other than, "This is how criticism works." Why would anyone construct an argument they didn't think was right?

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